Nighttime Terror Series: Darkness
by HeyAssButtImBatman
Summary: After a successful hunt, Gabriel and Sam are left alone while Dean and Cas get in their daily "alone time". But the conditions aren't ideal, and Sam sees a side of Gabriel that the archangel had never let anyone see, a side of him still terrified by events from his past.


Sam was prepared for the twelve or so vampires living in an old barn on the outskirts of a farming community in Nevada.

He was prepared for the small cuts and large bruises that marred their bodies when they and the ex-angels finally killed the last of the vampires.

He was even slightly prepared for Castiel and Dean leaving them in the barn to go and kanoodle in a field somewhere (though they denied it vehemently when Gabriel teased them about it), promising to be back in a few hours.

He was not prepared for Gabriel to go rigid when the Impala's headlights fade into the distance, start hyperventilating and widen his eyes, which had quickly become filled with tears.

"Gabriel?" His voice was panicky because he'd never _ever_ seen Gabriel like this, so close to what looked like a complete breakdown.

"Sam," Gabriel moaned, voice choked. Sam made his way over to where Gabriel was in the dark and wrapped his arms around the shorter man as best he could. Gabriel was trembling violently and his breath was coming out in ragged little gasps that were much too shallow for Sam's liking.

"Gabe, what's wrong?" Gabriel suddenly went limp in Sam's arms and the hunter lowered them both to the floor, cradling the ex-archangel in his arms.

"T-the Darkness," Gabriel whimpered, and Sam's heart broke for the raw amount of fear in those two words.

"You're scared of the dark?" he asked somewhat skeptically.

"No, the Darkness." Then he gasped and went stiff. "No no no no no no no," he mutters, voice cracking near the end. "I don't want to fight, please don't make me fight! I'm not ready, I'm not ready!" A sob tears its way out of his throat and Sam's confusion spikes. Gabriel doesn't seem to be aware of his surroundings. Probably lost in a flashback, Sam thinks.

And then Gabriel's earlier comment makes sense.

The Darkness, not the dark.

The force more terrifying and powerful than God that Gabriel had fought alongside his father and the other archangels.

"Oh, Gabe," Sam breathed out, listening to Gabriel beg not to be sent out to war.

"It's too far from God," Gabe gasps out suddenly, and his hands fist into Sam's bloodied shirt. "I can't, it's not warm enough, there's no light. Don't make me go, please."

The light of God, a light said to be more warm than anything.

And Gabriel was forced into a war with a being entirely opposite the warmth and security he had known his whole life, however long it was before the Darkness was defeated.

"Oh, Gabe," he sighed again, hugging him close. He listened to Gabriel's broken pleas and sobs for a whole minute before he remembered the flashlight in his pocket. And then he is practically tearing it out and almost destroys the button turning it on because _stupid stupid stupid! It was here the whole time, he should have thought of it sooner!_

And then pale light flickers into existence and pushes the dark shadows away and Gabriel blinks and looks around in confusion.

"Sam?" he whispered, eyes still filled with tears that he quickly rubs away. "What happened?"

"I have no idea," Sam said, pulling Gabriel even closer to his chest. "It got really dark and then you freaked out. I think you may have been remembering the war you fought against the Darkness."

Gabriel stiffened again and Sam tightened his hold, afraid he'd triggered another flashback. But Gabriel relaxes again in a few seconds and so does Sam.

"Yeah, that was bad," Gabriel said softly. "The war was terrible."

"What happened?" Sam asked gently, knowing that talking about bad memories sometimes helped with PTSD.

Gabriel shrugged. "Not much. The Leviathans were too evil to fight against the Darkness, so God created Michael. And He liked him, so He created Lucifer, Raphael and then me. We trained for a while before we all went to battle, though I was created last and had less time than my brothers."

"How long?" Sam asked, not entirely sure _what_ he's asking. Luckily, Gabriel seems to know.

"I'm not really sure, since this was all before time existed, but I'd say that I was about ten years old when we started the war. Michael was about forty, Lucifer was thirty and Raphael was somewhere around twenty."

Ten years old. Sam feels sick. He knows that Gabriel was never technically a child, but all he can imagine is a small golden haired boy being forced to fight alongside his adult brothers and father against something so terrifying that it still affected him millions of years later.

"I didn't want to fight," Gabriel continued softly. "I was terrified of the Darkness. But that's what God created me for, so I didn't really have a choice."

"I'm sorry," Sam said, because he had no idea what one was supposed to say in a situation like this.

"I've never had such a vivid flashback before. But then again, I've never let myself be in such a dark, cold place before. I knew it would trigger something."

"Did anything… bad happen when you were fighting?" Sam asked, because though he knows that fighting the Darkness alone was sure to give someone PTSD, he had a feeling that Gabriel had such a strong reaction due to something else.

"Not really," Gabriel said. "We all got hurt, but nothing too serious. Except…"

"Except what?"

"Right before we finally managed to lock the Darkness away, it… enveloped me, kind of. It was dark, so dark that even the light of my true form couldn't pierce the shadows. And so, _so_ cold. It was the most terrifying thing to ever happen to me. I don't even know how long I was in there, but it felt like forever before they managed to get me out."

Yeah, Sam thinks that qualifies as PTSD-inducing bad experience. But he doesn't say so. Instead he hugs Gabriel tighter and then pulls them both up off the floor and out of the barn, where at least the light of the moon and stars shone down on them, no matter how weak.

Sam keeps his flashlight on, though, just in case. And if Gabriel finds anything weird in that, he doesn't say anything. Sam was still worried about him because he had no idea how to deal with trauma victims. But hours later, when the Impala finally rumbles back to the barn, bringing with it a very rumpled and flushed Dean and Cas, and Gabriel and Sam squish into the back seat, right before Gabriel falls asleep with his head on Sam's shoulder, he whispers a quiet "Thanks, Sam."

And Sam figures that he did alright.


End file.
